The word manipulate, which comes from the Latin word manipulus, “what fits in the hand,” and which is of French origin, manipular, metaphorically moving away from its primary meaning, means “to direct and influence” in our language. In its most general definition, it is a social effect that aims to change one’s ideas and feelings by another person through various methods. People who use this effect are called “manipulators”“.
You are not in Control with Manipulation.
Manipulation is the attempt to direct or change one’s feelings and thoughts in order to make the other party accept his/her own wishes and desires. In this case, manipulators direct against any situation in line with their interests.
Manipulation appears in two different senses in psychology and economics. Psychological manipulation, it enables people to influence them against their will and to guide them beyond their knowledge. This situation causes differences and changes in the behavior of people.
Financial manipulation, means to persuade people to buy or sell a security by deceiving them. It is the situation where supply and demand come face to face in the securities markets, directly preventing the price determination process. According to the Capital Markets Board legislation, manipulation is a crime.
“Manipulation is a violation of borders, an attack on personal space.”
What are Manipulation Techniques?
1) Technique of Using Lack of Confidence
We all have features that we don’t like. We often try to hide or deny these features. Manipulators, on the other hand, resort to the method of lowering our self-confidence as soon as they learn about these shortcomings.
People with low self-esteem are more vulnerable. The manipulator either slams or reveals the person’s shortcomings. In this case, the manipulated person tends to accept requests.
2) The Lying Technique
The lying technique, especially used by fraudsters, begins with the establishment of a world far from reality. Real events and situations, all known truths are distorted and a possible world close to reality is created. It is a technique that is used a lot in steps such as new job, marriage decision or entrepreneurship, which are transitional periods of life.
3) One Remedy Technique
These manipulators, which you can easily see in your work environment or in your group of friends, first of all produce an artificial problem. He measures the reactions of the people around him to the problem and expects him to ask for help. The victims, who panic in the face of the situation and enlarge the problem in their minds, seek help from the manipulator as the only remedy. Thus, the victim in panic becomes able to accept the requests of the manipulator.
4) Withdrawal Technique
Often, the things we love the most can become our greatest weaknesses. In this case, the manipulators who come into play can apply the technique of depriving people of the things they love in order to fulfill their wishes. It is a method applied by parents to their children, couples and friends to each other, and in a hierarchical structure in the business environment. This method, which triggers emotional violence, brings with it the feeling of neediness.
5) The Technique of Asking for More
This technique, also known as the “blind catch technique”; It can appear in any form of relationship. The victim’s motive -not to want to be a bad person- is used. The manipulator initially makes a request that is too big for the victim to accept. After the first offer, to which he will receive a possible ‘no’ answer, it comes to his original request. This request, which is smaller than the first request, is accepted by the victim in order not to be hurtful and not to be the person who answers ‘no’ to every request.
6) Allied Stance Technique
Our sincere manipulator is of a kind and moderate character in this technique. He has friendly and sincere conversations with his victim. In this way, it provides intimacy. Once you get to know the person, he or she mentions thinkers or leaders you respect. Thus, he joins the views of these thinkers with his own will. The probability of the victim finally being persuaded is greatly increased.
7) Emotion Use Technique
Almost all of us have some situations and people that we cannot resist emotionally. At such moments, the situation of taking advantage of emotional states may arise. The result of this situation will be heavy for the victim. People who are emotionally threatened, seized; they can do a lot of things under pressure that they wouldn’t normally do. It carries a serious risk for people whose emotional state and psychology are not in good condition.
8) Intimidation and Relaxation Technique
In this technique, the manipulator identifies the victim’s greatest weaknesses and suggests what he/she fears most. After a short while, he mentions that he will solve the problem by calming the victim. It evokes a sense of admiration in the victim, whom it approaches with a protective attitude. Thus, the victim tends to fulfill his wishes by obeying the manipulator.
Which People are Vulnerable to Be Manipulated?
- Those who try to please everyone,
- Those who are well-intentioned and merciful,
- Those who try to be approved and accepted by their environment,
- Those who find it difficult to answer “no”
- Those who have low self-perception, altruistic thinkers,
- Those who find it difficult to take initiative and like to be controlled,
- Those who shy away from discussion environments and are afraid of rejection,
- People with low self-esteem
They are more open to manipulation.
How to Deal With Psychological Manipulation?
People exposed to psychological manipulation can cause such deep wounds that, after a certain point, the victim becomes unable to use his own intelligence, logic, emotions and will. Along with these, the loss of control mechanism over one’s own feelings and thoughts, loss of perception of reality and loss of belief in one’s own truths; it can cause him to lead a traumatic life. It may take years for the person to realize that they have been subjected to psychological manipulation, or most painfully, they may not realize this situation at all throughout their life.
You may have been or are being manipulated. We have listed some points that you should pay attention to when you are in such a dilemma. Being aware of what you are going through will lead you to take control of your life.
1) Recognize the Disagreements.
Manipulators surround plots with disagreements in their relationships. This is why manipulation can be difficult to understand. However, being aware of the growing frustrations and imbalances; It will help you protect yourself from this situation.
2) Question Your Perspective on Your Relationship.
Being aware of your emotions is the best way to accurately identify problems between you and the manipulator. If you feel need to be protected by someone, guilty and angry or if you feel pity for the other person manipulation may have become part of this relationship.
3) Be Conscious of the Whole Process.
Review the events that have dec between you and the person you think you are being manipulated by. If events that are close to each other are taking place in similar progress, the person you are facing may be approaching you in similar ways. Patterns that the manipulator constantly uses may be putting you in similar states of emotions. If your reactions are constant and upsetting when things end up in a way that the other person doesn’t like, you may have been subjected to manipulation.
4) Do not Insist on Continuing the Relationship.
A relationship in which you have been manipulated may upset you more than make you happy. It will not be easy for you to end your relationships with friends, lovers, or family members who are close to you. However, setting boundaries in your relationship; keeping your weaknesses to yourself or putting lines such as reducing the time spent together can help protect yourself from manipulation.
5) Let the Other Person Know That You are Aware of the Situation.
When you are being manipulated, let the person who manipulated you know that you are aware of it. In this way, you can control and even block the manipulator. Keeping your calmness in all these processes is an indicator of your strength.
And finally, with all these steps, if you want to completely eliminate the manipulation, take all the controls of your life and take a strong stance.
If you want to hear the answer to the question of how to deal with psychological manipulation from a psychologist:
(English subtitle may not be consisted.)
Related content that might interest you:
This post is also available in: Türkçe