Master author Bernard Roth, a professor at Stanford University, says in his book The Achievement Habit;
“Stop wanting, start doing. Take control of your life!”
He says that the secret to success in the same book is to use another two words instead of the two words we use a lot.
Use “And” instead of “But”
What do you think would happen if you said, “I want to go out and have a lot of work to do” instead of “I want to go out but I have too much to do”?
Professor Roth describes this change as follows:
When you use the word “but”, you are creating a conflict between actions, though not actually. However, when you use the conjunction “and”, your brain involuntarily perceives both parts of the sentence as a whole.”
Conjunctions such as “but, nevertheless, but, but,” are used to create a contrast between one phrase in a sentence and another. However, if we consider the conjunction “And”, this conjunction has a unifying and more positive function.
“I want” instead of “I have to”
Instead of saying “I have to finish this project”, let’s think about how saying “I want to finish this project” would change our lives.
“This exercise is very effective in helping people realize that certain things they do (like going to work), even things that don’t give them pleasure, are actually related to their choice of words. Just a small change in predicate can change the course of your life. If you wake up every morning and see going to work as death, your life is hell. will return.”
Changing things is easier than you think. Just think about what you like about your job every morning. For example, you might think of the feeling of relief that you get from finishing a difficult and complex project, or that you have a good time over coffee with your co-workers. On the one hand, you can also think about that moment when you come home from work and reunite with your family.
Believe it or not, this simple strategy will keep you charged with positive energy all day.
Instead of sitting around and waiting for the day to end, think about what you want to do about the company you work for, how you can achieve a well-paying career, showcase your skills, and reward yourself. If you hate your job in general and want to change anything about it, the only person you have to blame is yourself.
As you can see, there is a huge difference between “I want to visit my family” versus “I have/need to visit my family”. No matter what you’re talking about, it’s always better to say “I want” rather than “I have to”. This strategy is not easy to implement, BUT it is necessary if you MUST achieve success. But this strategy is necessary AND easy if you WANT to achieve success.
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