Everyone expects attention and love from their partner. At this point, the term love bombing may seem quite innocent. But when you get to the bottom of it, you will realize that it is actually a method of emotional violence. To understand whether your situation is related to this concept, you need to pay attention to certain behaviors. So what is love bombing and how do you know when you are being subjected to this phenomenon?
First of all, love/affection bombardment is an idiom used to describe a person showing too much love and/or affection towards another person. It is also often used to refer to behavior that is exaggerated or perceived as disruptive. For example, behaviors such as constantly calling, texting every minute or talking about her incessantly can be called the pure and, for some, enjoyable part of love bombardment. But psychological or emotional violence is not where this interest lies. The intense interest shown at the beginning of the relationship is suddenly reduced or abruptly stopped. This is the answer to the question of what is love bombing.
What is Love Bombing? What does it mean?
Love bombing, which translates to love/affection bombardment in Turkish, is defined as showing excessive interest in one’s partner for power and control while in a romantic relationship. It may be so innocent, involving excessive attention, that the person may not realize it at first. But manipulative displays of interest result in the manipulation of the interlocutor in the direction of interests. At this point, we can talk about the existence of emotional and psychological violence.
This situation, which can occur in all bilateral relationships, usually manifests itself in romantic partnerships. A person who wants to manipulate his or her partner according to his or her own wishes can do so over time without the other person realizing it. This refers to the sudden cessation of the intense interest shown at the beginning or early stage of the relationship. The party who has been subjected to intense attention and affection for a while suddenly feels that there is something wrong with him/her and tries to return to that romantic time.
The party who is bombarded with love/affection and cherished at the beginning of the relationship starts to look for the problem in himself/herself as a result of this sudden cessation of attention. In this way, the love bombing party can manipulate the other person according to their own wishes. If the party who is suddenly left in need of attention fails to realize that this is a form of psychological violence over time, they may have to deal with problems such as lack of self-confidence, suspiciousness, and lack of trust in others.
How Do You Know If You Have Been Love Bombed?
In fact, many people can explain what love bombing is with examples from their own relationships. What is important here is whether the situation in question has turned into a form of psychological violence. When you start your relationship, it is worth paying attention if the other party surprises you with much bigger gestures than you expect and never loses interest for a moment. It is actually extremely difficult for a person to make a decision at this point. Such intense interest, especially in the excitement of a new relationship, may seem quite pleasant, but it can turn into a big problem after a while.
The intense interest you see is not necessarily love bombing. This sometimes involves uncomfortable displays of affection, bouts of attention that do not allow for private time, and many other details. Although there is no clear formula because the dynamics of every relationship are different, you don’t want to be too late when you realize that you have been subjected to the phenomenon of love bombing. Because a sudden loss of interest tells you that you have been exposed to this bombardment for some time.
Especially at the beginning of the relationship, it is advisable to catch signals such as talking about future plans early on, interfering in your life without getting to know you fully, interfering in your environment without wasting time. At this point, if you are unable to recognize the process yourself, you may also need to listen to the advice of those around you who know you well.
What to Do When You Realize You’ve Been Love Bombed
Immediately following the question of what Love Bombing is, it is natural to want to learn how to get rid of it. This can lead to insecurity problems in the long term, as it involves the intense feeling of attention and its sudden cessation. For this reason, you should not hesitate to talk to your partner when you realize that you are being love bombed.
If you feel uncomfortable with this intense attention at the very beginning of the relationship, you should resolve the situation as soon as possible. The best and most measured step is to talk to the other person about what exactly is bothering you. But there is a fine line here. Romance and love bombing should not be confused with each other. Especially those who dislike romance should not assume that every attention they receive is a signal of this.
Since each relationship has different dynamics, it is a very healthy decision to make an individualized assessment. You should not hesitate to seek psychological support, especially when you feel that you cannot get out of it. Because the situation you are in may not be love bombing, it may just mean intense romance. In cases where you are uncomfortable, you can understand what the situation is with the support of couples therapy if necessary, and you can take the necessary precautions at this point at the beginning of the relationship.
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