Mindset Mistakes: 3 Big Reasons Why You Didn’t Succeed As You Wish
If success were simple and easy to understand, anyone who is willing to work and perseveres would achieve their goal. However, as everyone knows, working hard and working with determination does not always give the desired results, and this can sometimes make you feel empty. We can blame luck, but science shows that we often create our own luck. But what stands between those who are ready to shed blood, sweat, and tears for their goals, and success?
Mostly our attitude towards events.
According to a group of experts, your thinking and mindset are just as important as your inspiration and effort when it comes to success. So what are the common mistakes made about mindset?
1) Not Defining Success
Run as fast as you want, if you don’t have a goal in mind, all your efforts will be in vain. Success cannot define itself. You have to know what you’re trying to achieve in order for you to start getting justice for your efforts. This may be a full bank account, a rich life filled with unusual experiences, or a joyful family.
For the most part, we all strive for lives we don’t want in the first place, but think we should have: a well-paying job, a prestigious title, and lots of money. Maybe you’d rather travel the world than start a business. Strive to understand where your goals are coming from, and you’ll find that you don’t feel successful because you’re actually chasing the wrong things. At the end of the day, you are the one who will judge success or not, because only you can define your success.
Follow your own internal compass, not maps given to you by others, says Srinivas Rao, author of Medium. If you use that map for a long time, you start to miss that your whole journey is really just the plans others have made for us. We stop questioning altogether because we think it’s the safe, the simple, the sure-fire way to get us somewhere. But using other people’s maps has some serious consequences. In the best-case scenario, you do things that have proven to work. At its worst, you’re nothing but faded imitations of those who have gone on this journey before us.
2) Evaluating Oneself in Wrong Contexts
We all have strengths and weaknesses. And we can only be successful in areas where your strengths shine and your weaknesses are irrelevant. It cannot be expected that someone with a bad ear for music will come to a place with a microphone in their hand, or that a maverick entrepreneur will be successful in bureaucratic paperwork.
Career counselor Mike Iamele, citing an example of a receptionist friend, explains: “He hated his job. He was always on social media and whenever he got the chance he would create design brochures for his future company. He finally dared to quit his job and within months, with no formal training, he became one of the city’s foremost graphic designers. He spends all day developing social media strategies, working on graphic designs and working as a freelancer.” Iamele reminds you that as long as you put yourself in toxic relationships that do not highlight your strengths, and take jobs that do not satisfy you, you will not be able to achieve success.
3) Focusing Too Much on Pleasing Others
Kindness is virtue. A life dedicated to service to others is a valuable life. But that doesn’t mean that success always means trying to please. Those who are truly successful know their own agenda and know how to say “no” when necessary.
No one is telling you to be sullen and constantly antagonistic. But as Iamele puts it: “Being friends, family, or someone you care about from time to time to annoy or disagree with them means you are getting closer and closer to your authentic reality. As you put forward your own priorities, you get closer to the life you truly want, not to others”.
Canadian physician Gabor Maté, a leading researcher on trauma, childhood, and addiction, and author of several international bestselling books (especially when the Body Says No: The Costs of Emotional Stress), says that being kind all the time will “kill” you, genuine He says that as you suppress your ego, your body will eventually say “no!” You can view it in detail here: