8 Tips to Identify and Deal with the People Manipulating You

Dilara Avlupınar

Dilara Avlupınar

Boğaziçi Ekonomi

Manipulators will sneak up on you, so it’s imperative to identify who they are. When you find these people who bring you down in your environment, you should be able to cope with them. The best way to do this is to stay away from them. If the manipulator is your spouse, divorce. If they are your lover, break up. If they are your friend, cut off communication, or if they are your colleague, keep as much distance as possible.

“Controllers, fraudsters, and manipulators never look for fault in themselves. They always say the problem lies with someone else.” – Darlene Ouimet




1) They may test your patience by not reacting to your actions.

It is crucial that you are able to compete with these types of games. Do not try to attract the attention of someone unresponsive to you and do other things. If they find that what they’re doing works once, they’ll keep doing it over and over. So, don’t lose control and hide your anger.




2) They never change their actions.

You cannot change successful manipulators. All you can do is change your own attitudes. So don’t waste your energy trying to fix the other person. Because fighting and losing manipulators can even make you depressed.


3) They are cunning and misleading.

Do not waste your breath trying to explain their bad behavior to these people with whom you cannot communicate openly and honestly. Because they don’t care about what you say and what you do. However, ending your relationship with manipulators lowers their self-confidence and makes them realize that you are not the suitable victim.




4) They always have an excuse for their bad behavior.

When you start complaining to the manipulator about their misbehavior, they usually rejects it or tries to soften it. Usually, the answers you will get will be “You are very emotional”, “It was just a joke”, “You are looking at things from the wrong place”.


5) They are adept at pretending.

Manipulators are very good at fake behavior. They begin to gain your trust by showing love, care, and sympathy towards you. But after trust is gained, lousy behavior begins. The moment you feel that you are being mistreated, start to approach the person with suspicion. If things aren’t getting better, put some distance between you.




6) They like to gather information about your weak points and unhappy points.

You shouldn’t talk to everyone about things you feel bad about. Manipulators love to get this kind of information and then use it against you. It’s essential to be aware of your own weaknesses and wishes but share them with people who can truly solve your problems.




7) They are adept at creating a positive first impression.

We meet new people every day. While some have bad first impressions, others may seem like people who will complete the missing piece of your life. No matter how good your first impression is when you meet someone new, you should be cautious and give yourself time to get to know the other person adequately.


8) They give vague and inconsistent answers to questions about their personal lives.

Manipulators do not like to reveal information about their personal lives. Ask someone whose behavior you suspect is about their friends, relatives, work-life, or future plans. If you’re getting inconsistent or evasive answers, you may want to distance yourself.




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