We all have narcissistic or toxic people in our lives. We struggle to deal with them, and most of the time, it just doesn’t work.
We cannot change such people. Trying to change the thoughts and behaviors of narcissistic people is a waste of time. Since we cannot eliminate their attitudes, there is no point fighting them.
It is up to you to not let a situation stress you out that you cannot prevent and to manage the impact that the abuser’s behavior has on you.
Gray Stone Method
A blogger named Skylar discovered a way to deal with narcissists and other toxic people. This method may work for people with sociopaths and similar manipulation strategies.
The Gray Stone method is a method you can use if you cannot remove toxic people from your life. If you can get away from those people, walk away, but if it’s not in your hands, you will need a way to end their wrong attitude towards you.
The approach in question suggests being a straight person not to attract attention. So imagine that you are a gray stone among bright, colorful, sparkling stones. Nobody cares, so you’re the last person to be offended.
Narcissistic and toxic individuals do not like gray worlds. A monotonous and boring life does not attract their attention, and they go to find other, more exciting prey. They do not give up completely, they make some attempts to check whether you have a fun side from time to time, but if the same method is applied consistently, success will be achieved.
If you have a narcissistic person in your life, you know what kind of character he is. You see how he influences you, how he lies to you, how he accuses and manipulates you. You are aware of what you are dealing with.
The other person should not know that you are using this method. If he finds out about this, he can surround you with other attacks.
How does the gray stone method keep toxic people away from you?
If you’ve ever fought with narcissistic people, you know, they ask silly questions and start insulting when they start a fight. Just answer “ok” to these. Even though you know you don’t deserve insults, you must put up with it. Basically, let them keep talking to themselves.
Instead of being around them, do mundane things inconspicuously alone. Narcissists hate being bored and doing boring things, so that’s from you. But, there is one thing I would like to add: You don’t have to be boring to everyone, and you don’t have to say “okay” to everyone. This approach is only for the toxic people in your life.
For ordinary people in your life, you have to continue to be normal. But, when you meet a toxic individual, act like you have no interest in what they have to say.
When toxic individuals encounter these behaviors, they will do their best to provoke and drive you crazy. They will push the limits of your anger. But what you have to do is refuse to react to provocations.
Once you start, you will see that it works and find the strength to move forward. One second of patience in rage will save you tons of regrets later.
Can the gray stone method replace toxic people?
It’s infrequent, but sometimes this method can help people see what they are. In some cases, they may be different people who genuinely care about the feelings of others.
It is complicated for narcissists to see themselves as others see them. They think their behavior is entirely normal. There may be a change for them in sporadic cases, but I still advise you not to give up on this hope.
In summary, you have two methods to drive away narcissistic people: Either you will continue to live with them by risking extinction, or you will rise to a height that is too strong for him to predict and beyond his reach.