We all have narcissistic or toxic people in our lives. We really struggle to deal with them, and most of the time it just doesn’t work.
We cannot change such people. Trying to change the thoughts and behaviors of narcissistic people is a waste of money. Since we cannot eliminate their attitudes, there is no point in fighting them.
It’s up to you not to let a situation you can’t prevent stress you out and to manage the effect of the abuser’s attitudes on you.
Gray Stone Method
A blogger named Skylar discovered a way to deal with narcissists and other toxic people. This method may work for people with sociopaths and similar manipulation strategies.
The Gray Stone method is a method you can use if you cannot remove toxic people from your life. If you can get away from those people, walk away, but if it’s not in your hands, you will need a way to end their bad attitude towards you.
The aforementioned approach suggests being a straight person so as not to attract attention. So imagine that you are a gray stone among bright, colorful, sparkling stones. Nobody cares so you’re the last person to be offended.
Narcissistic and toxic individuals do not like gray worlds. A monotonous and boring life does not attract their attention and they go to find other more exciting prey. They do not give up completely, they make some attempts to check whether you have a fun side from time to time, but if the same method is applied consistently, success will be achieved.
If you have a narcissistic person in your life, you know what kind of character he is. You see how he influences you, how he lies to you, how he accuses and manipulates you. You are aware of what you are dealing with.
The other person should not know that you are using this method. If he finds out about this, he can surround you with other attacks.
How does the gray stone method keep toxic people away from you?
If you’ve ever had a fight with narcissistic people, you know, when they start a fight, they ask silly questions and start insulting. Just answer “ok” to these. Even though you know you don’t deserve insults, you have to put up with it. Basically let them keep talking to themselves.
Instead of being around them, do mundane things inconspicuously alone. Narcissists hate being bored and boring things, so you. But there is one thing I would like to add: You don’t have to be boring to everyone and you don’t have to say “okay” to everyone. This approach is only for the toxic people in your life.
For normal people in your life, you have to continue to be normal. But when you meet a toxic individual, act like you have no interest in what they have to say.
When toxic individuals encounter these behaviors, they will do their best to provoke and drive you crazy. They will push the limits of your anger. But what you have to do is refuse to react to provocations.
Once you start, you will see that it works and you will find the strength to move forward. One second of patience in anger will save you tons of regrets later.
Can the gray stone method replace toxic people?
It’s very rare, but sometimes this method can help people see what they are. In some cases, they may be different people who truly care about the feelings of others.
It is very difficult for narcissists to see themselves as others see them. They think their behavior is completely normal. In very rare cases, there may be a change for them, but I still advise you not to give up on this hope.
In summary, you have two methods to drive away narcissistic people: Either you will continue to live with them by risking extinction, or you will rise to a height that is too strong for him to predict and beyond his reach.