Nobody wants to face failure, they don’t like rejection, they don’t prefer to experience negative things. Whether we admit it or not, experiencing negative events is inevitable for every human being. At this point, people who do not even come close to the option of giving up and prefer to continue with all their strength will definitely reach the way out they have been after. Let’s take a look at the most obvious common traits of these people.
1) They focus on the things they can control.
Focusing on the things we cannot control takes our energy and attention away from the points we can control. If you are currently dealing with uncertainty in a particular area of your life, make a list of what you can and cannot control. You can control how much time and effort you put into a job interview, but you cannot control the outcome. So use all your energies for the first phase and don’t waste your time thinking about what the outcome will be. The first way to beat stress is to accept that trying to change things beyond your control will stress you out even more.
2) They don’t waste time complaining.
Constantly complaining about your school, work, family, friends, home will not improve the existing situation. Constantly worrying about negativity will make you feel even more stuck. Focus on the things you appreciate about your life, underline or even frame them with highlighters. The subject you appreciate yourself may not necessarily be as big as winning a Nobel prize. You can appreciate yourself, even you should, for accomplishing the simple goal you set for yourself in the morning, such as going for a walk or tidying your room, during that day.
3) They don’t take it personally.
When things don’t go our way, it can be pretty hard not to take it personally. When we take things personally; We make ourselves more vulnerable by feeling more deeply about emotions, anger, frustration and unhappiness. It’s like putting a heavy load on our backs. A simple truth: No one cares about your opinion as much as you do. Author Don Miguel Ruiz says:
“What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dreams. When you develop immunity to the opinions and actions of others, you will not be a victim of unnecessary suffering.”
4) They do not make assumptions.
In the absence of missing information, you try to fill in the gaps by interpreting what you see or hear. But in doing so, it’s very possible to miss really relevant information. While trying to make sense of the situation, the connections you made between the present and the past may have lost their validity right now. The same events; It should be evaluated according to the current conditions as it will have different results according to time and people. Emotions can touch many sensitive points, bringing to the surface the moments you were hurt in the past. Don’t feed your negative bias. Do not shape your assumptions according to them and do not lower your mood.
5) They are not afraid of change.
The word “change” is perceived as a threat to many people, many of whom fear change or even reject the idea of change. It can be a little daunting at first, but that’s how you become more competent in the long run. Without change you will never learn what you can do, you will never discover your full potential. Don’t resist change, embrace it.