fill in the blank | everything has a place | Let go and keep going…
Sometimes even the smallest thing bothers me and it causes a negative thought cycle. Can someone say something that misleads me. I may have a minor injury that prevents me from exercising. Or something could go wrong at work.
Do you know what this feeling is like? In such a situation, you unconsciously question everything about your life, career, health or relationship.
You want to do anything to resist this situation. You try to fix it. You feel compelled to overcome your discomfort. But the thing is, you can’t control your discomfort.
This makes you even more angry. And then you are drawn into a vortex by negative thoughts. At this point, what starts out as a minor annoyance becomes a major life issue.
It sounds like ending your job or a relationship with someone you love, when a small problem grows like a snowball. You also think that everything and everyone is working against you. And also that nothing is worth it.
This is a negative thought cycle. I’ve had this very often. And I’m sure it happens to you too. So why do we experience this?
It’s actually a matter of control. We think that life has to be a certain way. In other words, we want everything to be the way we want it to be. And its absence drives us crazy. Negative thought cycles usually start when something comes to an end. Did you ever notice this?
Filling the Blank
Look around you and you will see that everything in life is coming to an end. Your job, your career, your relationships, your friendships, etc… And the end of every single thing in our life is actually like a small death. Something dies and it leaves a void inside us.
This event in itself is neither good nor bad. Such is the nature of life. By trying to replace what has left our lives, we can turn their departure from our lives into bad things. For example, when a relationship ends, many people try to fill that void in some way by getting more busy and responsible at work.
That’s how I did it. When all the time and energy you put into the relationship is over, you are free. And because you don’t want to feel alone, you try to fill the void by working harder. You want to set higher goals and do a better job.
But you’re the only one escaping the truth. The truth is, this is a terrible situation. But it’s also a natural part of life. Because we should not resist change. We cannot change some things in life.
If you lose your job, you can’t replace work by spending more time with your spouse. And yet that’s exactly what most of us do. We either lose our job or fail at work and think, “Now at least I can spend more time with my family .”
We try to fill the void. But this requires a lot of energy. And when something small causes a negative thought cycle, it causes your foundation to be shaken. Why? Because all this time your foundation was already weak.
With work or exercise, you can never fill the void left by a relationship. Just as you cannot fill a health gap with alcohol or drugs. You cannot fill a job vacuum with spirituality.
You need to hold back so you don’t get caught in a whirlwind of negative thoughts while trying to escape from reality. And this is one of the hardest things in life. Oftentimes, people spend their entire lives in denial. We must not let this happen. We must turn and look within ourselves.
I can tell you from my personal experience that frankly it is very difficult. I always struggle when something in my life ends. My first answer is always to find a replacement. I also learned that there is a place for everything.
To Break the Negative Thought Cycle
Michael A. Singer , an entrepreneur who once ran a large software company and author of The Untethered Soul , summed it up nicely:
“It’s pretty black and white. You either quit or you don’t.”
He speaks of his experience. Singer was prosecuted by the Justice Department for securities fraud. During this time, he risked losing everything.
In the end, all charges against him were dropped and his name was cleared, but he was able to quit before that. He also wrote his book “The Untethered Soul” while he was on trial.
If someone at risk of losing everything can let go, so can you and I. People usually come up with all sorts of excuses. They say it’s easier said than done and not so easy to let go.
Of course, no one can say that it is easy to break a negative thought cycle. We all have our own challenges and obstacles. Sometimes people try to convince others that they are having a really hard time. To be honest, nobody cares. Let go for yourself.
So if you’re stuck in a negative thought cycle, know that you only have two options:
– Go ahead and let it ruin you.
– Let go and keep going.
The choice is yours. And yes, it’s that simple. Decide between these two options and see the result for yourself.