{"id":174365,"date":"2022-02-01T00:00:00","date_gmt":"2022-02-01T00:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ceotudent.com\/?p=174365"},"modified":"2022-10-28T19:25:22","modified_gmt":"2022-10-28T16:25:22","slug":"i-have-done-this-much-you-have-never-done-your-score-calculation-in-daily-life-is-harming-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ceotudent.com\/en\/i-have-done-this-much-you-have-never-done-your-score-calculation-in-daily-life-is-harming-you","title":{"rendered":"I Have Done This Much You Have Never Done: Your Score Calculation in Daily Life Is Harming You"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Do phrases such as “I put a lot of effort into this relationship and he doesn’t do anything” or “He helped me with that, so I’ll help you this time” or “When my job fell, it didn’t help me at all, it’s my turn to ignore it” often echo in your mind? I think it’s normal to think about them because I see them as a necessary feature of living in individualized societies. But this scoreboard inside our brain hurts us in the long run. Successful writer Darius Foroux explains the danger of our leaderboards, based on his own experience:<\/div>\n
Who works the most in the office? Who gets the most attention? Who did most of the cleaning in the house? Who got the most gifts? Who called the most? The truth is, no one cares about these funny scorecards inside your brain. When people score, there is only one result: resentment. Research shows that we often overestimate the contribution we make. In social psychology, this is called Egocentric Bias.<\/div>\n
The term was first used by Michael Ross and Fiore Sicoly in a 1979 study<\/a> . Researchers found that about 75% of married couples overestimate their contribution to the relationship. They looked at values like cooking, making decisions, causing arguments, other things that are part of relationships. It is natural that we tend to take credit for successes and blame others for losses. As a species, we’re pretty self-centered. This is what we knew before all scientific research.<\/div>\n
Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and founder of analytical psychology, says:<\/div>\n
\u201cAn inflated mind is always egocentric and conscious of nothing but its own existence. He cannot learn from the past, understand current events, and draw correct conclusions about the future. It is self-hypnotized and therefore cannot be discussed. He condemns himself to disasters that must destroy him. “<\/div>\n
We are not aware of this. Therefore, you must train yourself to stop feeding your ego<\/a> while maintaining your score. The score calculation is never healthy and only causes conflicts. I’ve had conflicts about keeping score in the past, too. I have not had good results on this issue at work and in my personal relationships. I’ve also seen family members ruin their relationship for keeping score.<\/div>\n

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